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The World Of Pokemon |
Ah yes, Pokemon...a world that captivated a generation and is still going strong. It is often cited as a place people wish they lived, or that Pokemon themselves were real. I'm going to tell how awful that is and how stupid you are.
The Dream
Of course the dream here is to co-exist with these cuddly adorable little creatures and adventure around with them and recapture that sense of wonder found in childhood playing the games
A noble dream, full of innocence and happiness.
Firstly, cast out any images of the cuddly cartoons you know and love, the idea is that everything in Pokemon is "real" . Are you afraid of spiders or snakes? Good. Now they're the size of people or at least some medium-to-large dog breeds. Feel better? No? How about this, ghosts are now real, and potentially anything imagined can somehow also be a monster, like ice cream or a pile of garbage.
Now, aside from the nightmarish hell reality of a world where your garbage comes alive and there's ghosts licking you in your sleep, there's also the very real prospect of there not being any actually real animals anymore, your pets are back in the real world, and replaced with who-the-fuck-knows , and with everything as pokemon...you'd have to eat them too...even as a vegetarian...you might fair better but there's pokemon out there that are vegetables and sticks and all kinds of plants.
Your dietary customs are now completely restructured around monster creatures that can potentially learn human language and also attacks, becoming a companion. No one expected to pal around with an onion or a bunch of eggs.
But hey aside from food monsters, there's some that do horrible things as part of their innate nature that noone seems to really want to talk about, such as the one that eats your dreams while you sleep, the one that cries because it used to be human, the one that is ghost balloon that steals children, the one that wears its dead mother's skull and cries, the one that will steal your soul when you die to fuel itself . Truly the stuff of nightmares, but hey...video games played by children, what're you going to do?
So this is the world you live in now. All that shit going on. I haven't even covered the Battles yet. Yes the Pokemon Battles, imagine if you're out walking your dog, someone who ALSO has a dog sees you have a dog, and immediately says something random and stupid to you before being forced to have your dogs fight each other.
A noble dream, full of innocence and happiness.
The Nightmare
Pokemon is a portmanteau of the words "Pocket" and more importantly "Monsters". Firstly, cast out any images of the cuddly cartoons you know and love, the idea is that everything in Pokemon is "real" . Are you afraid of spiders or snakes? Good. Now they're the size of people or at least some medium-to-large dog breeds. Feel better? No? How about this, ghosts are now real, and potentially anything imagined can somehow also be a monster, like ice cream or a pile of garbage.
Now, aside from the nightmarish hell reality of a world where your garbage comes alive and there's ghosts licking you in your sleep, there's also the very real prospect of there not being any actually real animals anymore, your pets are back in the real world, and replaced with who-the-fuck-knows , and with everything as pokemon...you'd have to eat them too...even as a vegetarian...you might fair better but there's pokemon out there that are vegetables and sticks and all kinds of plants.
Your dietary customs are now completely restructured around monster creatures that can potentially learn human language and also attacks, becoming a companion. No one expected to pal around with an onion or a bunch of eggs.
But hey aside from food monsters, there's some that do horrible things as part of their innate nature that noone seems to really want to talk about, such as the one that eats your dreams while you sleep, the one that cries because it used to be human, the one that is ghost balloon that steals children, the one that wears its dead mother's skull and cries, the one that will steal your soul when you die to fuel itself . Truly the stuff of nightmares, but hey...video games played by children, what're you going to do?
So this is the world you live in now. All that shit going on. I haven't even covered the Battles yet. Yes the Pokemon Battles, imagine if you're out walking your dog, someone who ALSO has a dog sees you have a dog, and immediately says something random and stupid to you before being forced to have your dogs fight each other.
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| In Pokemon them's fightin' words |
Also, there's mostly children doing this, and occasionally an adult who is challenging a 10 year in order to have captured animals kill each other.
So where do all these Battling Abominations come from? Why you will randomly and most assuredly encounter them in everyday tall grass.
If you don't mow the lawn for awhile, chances are the next time you go out, you might just get assaulted by giant rats and birds. That Tall Grass will be your grave!
So whether you have to deal with your garbage becoming sentient, ghosts haunting you, your soul being eaten, balloons stealing children, your dreams getting eaten, rats attacking you in your yard, or simply coming across something that will electrocute, drown, smash, or broil you alive in any sort of random encounter with the horrible fauna that is Pokemon...that world is a nightmare....
So where do all these Battling Abominations come from? Why you will randomly and most assuredly encounter them in everyday tall grass.
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| God damn, kid you nearly fucking died out there! |
So whether you have to deal with your garbage becoming sentient, ghosts haunting you, your soul being eaten, balloons stealing children, your dreams getting eaten, rats attacking you in your yard, or simply coming across something that will electrocute, drown, smash, or broil you alive in any sort of random encounter with the horrible fauna that is Pokemon...that world is a nightmare....
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| Never Go Outside Again You Will Surely Die |
